A New Tube Dress

Went to Bugis Street Market with wife yesterday as she wanted to get some clothes.


She has been patronising this particular shop run by some Nepalese. The lady boss usually gives a decent discount. My wife has bought around 7 items so far over the past few months from this shop.

Something amusing caught my eye as I was waiting for her to take her pick.

It’s this tube dress which is supposed to be worn with the top hanging around your waist so that your boobs could air and hang loose. Ha, ha, ha…! :D

How To Save On Parking When Shopping At Bugis

If you want to shop the whole day at Bugis and save on car park charges, you can use the valet parking at KK Hospital which operates from 7:30am to 6pm. Only catch is: It only operates from Monday to Friday.

Regardless of the number of hours you park there, you’re charged a flat rate of $4.

After parking at KK Hospital. Take the free shuttle bus service that goes to Bugis.

Plastic Cover Still Not Taken Out Yet!

Lunch Is Served wrote about being in such a hurry, after getting her brand new Suzuki Vitara, to get to the nearest petrol station to top up petrol for the car, that she forgot to tear out the plastic covering her car seats.

With regards to plasic cover of new car seats, we usually tear it out once we get the car.

But there aree actually people who don’t tear tear out the plastic cover.

My mother-in-law has had her dining table set for around 7 years already. But to this day, can you imagine that the transparent plastic cover covering her dining leather chairs has still not been torn off yet!

Then she also has a same-block neighbor who drives an SFW plate Suzuki Liana. This car is over 3 years old already. Yet the car owner still has not removed the plastic covering the seats!

Can you believe that such people actually exist!

They would rather let their asses sit in warm discomfort and protect their leather seats, than tear out and discard the plastic cover.

Are these people downright weird or do they cherish their earthly possessions over everything else, including their own butt, too much?

Leather Seats & Alloy Rims

Nowadys when we buy a new car, the salesman would throw in leather seats and alloy rims and standard “freebies”.


Usually these freebies are only given if you take up a car loan to pay for the car instead of paying for it in one shot. Most people take a loan when buying a new car, so it’s almost a given all the time they would get leather seats and alloy rims that come with the new car.

I always wonder what happens to the orginal factory-fitted fabric seat covers. Do they get removed from the new car and trashed? Afterall, I’m doubtful if such fabric seats, even though they may be brand new from the factory, actually get re-used. Unless it’s used to replace the torn ones in old cars. If that’s the case, it’s probably sold to some other countries. I’m not aware of any used fabric car seat covers available for sale in Singapore. And it’s not even used. It’s brand new from the factory and gets removed and replaced with leather seats.


There's no problem when dealing with alloy rims though. The original factory-fitted steel rims can easily be recycled by burning, melting and re-moulded into something else. Or they can be used by goods vehicles, as they are.

A Cat & Mouse Game

Motorists are always playing a cat & mouse game with parking wardens.


Whenver we have to put display parking coupons on the dashboard of our car, we are perpetually in a state of alert, on the lookout for these sniveling buggers.

My motto is: It’s better to display at least one coupon to cover your ass than to display none at all.

Afterall, if your coupon has expired, your maximum fine is only $20. But if you don’t display any coupon at all, it’s $30.

Just yesterday, I was at Pasir Ris Park Car park E. I realise this car park requires display of parking coupon(s), even on Sundays and public holidays, unlike car park A which is free.

If you want to park your car at the park whole day in peace without having to worry about parking wardens, better to park at car park A.

At car park E, I saw not 1, but 2 “dastardly” parking wardens making rounds to see if the cars have displayed valid parking coupons. Quite a number of cars got summonses issed to them. I was waiting in my car, accompanying my son who’s alseep. Before they could walk to where my car was, I drove the car away. Then I stopped at a corner & waited for them to leave before returning to the car park. Before I left my car, I decided to tear and display one coupon just in case those “bastards” decide to come back and do a second round of checks.

Each time you get a summon for such a parking offence, either because you did not display any coupon at all, or your coupon(s) was/were insufficient, all you can do is curse and swear.

As for parking warden(s), it’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it.

How To Stay Awake At Work

Struggling to stay awake at work is what a lot of office workers do day in day out. Even though not that many of them readily admit it.

So how to stay awake at work especially after a heavy lunch?

I think we should do something about our air.

We should inject a stimulant that works the same as caffeine into our air-con to help us stay awake.

I wonder if A*STAR is doing research on this.

Wouldn’t it be great if all of us can stay alert and awake at work all day long because of such a stimulant?

Record Turnout At Speakers' Corner

Many retirees, small-time retail investors, have been badly burnt by the current credit crunch, which caused their savings accumulated over the decades, wiped out by the collapse of Lehman Brothers.


Speakers' Corner, which usually sees only a few kittens (小猫两三只) among its audience when there is someone making a speech, has seen record turnouts over the past few weekends as former CEO of NTUC Income Insurance Co-Operative, Mr Tan Kin Lian, made speeches against financial institutions that have sold the high-risk mini bonds to small-time retirees, retail investors, who can ill-afford to lose their hard-earned savings.

The sales representatives of these institutions are guilty of fraudulent misrepresentation when they sold these high-risk structured investment products to the retail investors, claiming that the mini bonds were not risky investments.

These retail investors can’t be judged as being greedy since they were clueless about the structured products which the salesmen sold them. The salesmen told them mini bonds can earn high return and bluffed that they were not risky, so the retirees bought the mini bonds loh. Afterall, all they wanted was to get a higher return from investing their savings. This money could have been meant for their children’s tertiary education, their own retirement nest-egg. Now it’s all gone.

These poor retirees can only hope against hope they can get a fraction of their money back.

Okto

Something “sad” happened today. My son called my wife and asked, “Mummy. How come the TV does not have Okto channel?”

My wife had to tell him, “Because Kids Central has moved to Okto.”

Our son’s grandma doesn’t know how to tune the TV to receive programs of Okto channel.

So our son does not get to watch all his favorite programs which he used to watch on Kids Central.

This is a tragedy. Is it not?

Talking about Kids Central and Arts Central merging to form the new Okto channel, this leaves Vasantham to have its own channel which it used to share with Kids Central and Arts Central.

Why does Vasantham have its own channel? Because there are more Indians, Bangladeshis, living and working in Singapore now. So there is certainly a bigger demand now for Tamil programs.

I think it would be better to move Vasantham to its own channel and let Kids Central and Arts Central retain their original Central channel since the combined audiences of both Kids Central and Arts Central probably outnumber that of Vasantham Central. This would cause inconvenience to fewer TV audience who do not know how to tune their TV to receive the new channel.

Envy

Human beings are negative by nature. So more often than not, you hear people whining and complaining about what they don’t have.

When we focus on what we don’t have and fail to count our blessings, we grumble and complain.

Counting our blessings is a sure cure for grumbling.

But how can we help but be envious of our neighbors who are better off than us? Those who make much more money than us. Those who drive bigger cars, live in bigger houses, go for expensive holidays in faraway exotic locations.

How can you not be envious of your peers who are doing much better than you financially either by joining the civil service, signing on with SAF as a regular or doing either insurance or property sales?

The bottomline is: It’s hard for someone, who earns peanuts and struggles to make ends meet every month, not to envy his peers whose incomes are much higher than his.

Why The Holdup?

Every morning when i go to collect a free copy of TODAY and mypaper, i always see people forming long queues, waiting to get their free copies.


The queue can start forming from 7:15am onwards. The distribution of the free papers only starts at 7:30am. I always wonder why is there a need to delay the actual distribution.

What sense does it make?

Scary, Nightmarish Ordeal

Last night, after my wife and i dropped our son at the in-laws, my wife passed me a plastic bag which i mistakenly thought was garbage to be thrown away. It is a habit which i'm very accustomed to because everytime i leave my mother-in-law's place, i would help her to dispose of one or two plastic bags of garbage.

In actual fact, the plastic bag did not contain garbage to be dumped but my wife's handphone and wallet!

Then i walked to the rubbish chute hopper and casually dumped the bag down the chute.

My wife panicked and screamed "That plastic bag has my wallet and handphone inside!"

It was heart-wrenching to see her panic-stricken face as tears were welling up in her eyes that very instant.

We quickly scurried down to the first floor via the lift and went to the garbage dump.

Opened the shutter. I climbed up the garbage dump and found a door that leads into the pile of garbage. There was a broom lying at the door. I used the broom and fished out the plastic bag with my wife's handphone and wallet intact.

Thank God for letting us retrieve my wife's wallet and handphone without too much trouble.

The dump was pretty disgusting with lots of roaches crawling around. What do you expect? It's a garbage dump.

If we could not access the dump, we we would have to call town council for help. We'd probably have to wait until the the next morning for the dump truck to pick up the rubbish and get the rubbish collectors to help us retrieve the plastic bag.

This is certainly a brief but horrendously frantic and nightmarish experience for us.

Little Red Dot Doesn't Buy Red Bull's Bull Shit

TODAY, Thursday, 09th October, 2008



Sorry Red Bull, but your bull shit cuts no ice.

Last week, Red Bull Racing team principal Christian Horner claimed an electrical surge from a passing underground train affected the gearbox of driver Mark Webber's car, causing the Aussie to retire prematurely from the 2008 Formula 1 SingTel Singapore Grand Prix on Sept 28.

SMRT said it had found nothing to support the claim by Horner.

According to a report in British-based Autosport magazine's website last Thursday, Horner had said an electrical surge from apassing train beneath Turn 13 caused the gearbox of Webber's car to select two gears at once,forcing him to retire after lap 30 of the 61-lap race, the first Formula 1 race held at night.

Horner claimed the same problem affected sister team Scuderia Toro Rosso's Sebastien Bourdais during the practice sessions on Sept 26.

But an SMRT spokesperson said: "There is no MRT track beneath Turn 13.

"The nearest MRT tunnel is about 200 metres away, with a depth of about 10 metres. In addition, train wheels and running rails are made of metal and therefore do not generate static electricity charges during train operations."

Red Bull may be able get people to put Red Bull into their life and put life into their red bull. But their bull shit has been proven to be of no basis and merit. In fact, it might even be considered outright hilarious and ridiculous.

A Beautiful Girl

A girl who is really beautiful is one who looks lovely even without smiling. This girl, Lee Eer Ling, is Head Job Re-creator at NTUC Careers.

Eer Ling has the typical Singapore girl-next-door look. Not the plain type but the beautiful type, of course.

Not Really A Bitch Afterall

Yesterday i wrote that a colleague reversed her boyfriend's black Hyundai Verna and knocked down my pail of car wash effects.

This morning i "confronted" her and asked her why she knocked down my pail.

She said she was blur blur and didn't really notice the pail. She said "Sorry."

i accepted her apology and said, "Nevermind lah."

Looks like she's not really a bitch afterall.

If she's a bitch, she would have bitched me with crap like "Who asked you to place your pail there in the 1st place?!"

If she had done that, this would have developed into an all-out full-blown war.

'Tis The Season For Attacks By Assholes And Bitches

This has been a really shitty week, i have had to put up with all the shit crap from assholes and bitches around me.

Feel like blowing up and blowing somebody's head off.

This morning after washing my car, a colleague drove into the parking lot and knocked down my pail of stuff which contains the stuff I use to wash my car, car sponge, car shampoo, etc.

And after parking her car, she didn't even bother to put it back into its upright position.

F#@king shit. She must be thinking why the hell did I place my pail and block the path of her car reverse-parking into the lot.

Bloody f#@king hell! I have to kill somebody soon!

Yah. The meaning of life is assholes and bitches being surrounded by assholes and bitches! It's especially crappy, shitty, sucky when all these assholes and bitches start acting against you and concoct all kinds of offenses against you.

This is the reason why people snap and go on a shooting spree and gun down all the assholes and bitches around them.

Do you get angry when somebody calls you idiot? I absolutely abhor it. I usually retaliate in full force when somebody calls me idiot. F#@king crap shit.

Denny & Iris Get Married

My cousin Denny told me to leave some comments on my blog with regards to his wedding last Saturday. So here they are.

Just attended a lovely wedding at Fairy Point Chalet 7 on past Saturday, 04th October, 2008.

It was very well-organised. The items presented were entertaining.

My only gripe was it was a warm and humid evening with hardly any cool breeze.

If i recall correctly, one of the slide presentations mentioned Denny and Iris meeting 17 years ago! That's almost a lifetime of courtship. Ha, ha, ha...! :D

I think my cousin, Denny, has made good use his organisational skills as a former SAF officer and current boss of 2 movie memorabilia shops, on his own wedding.

Well done, cousin.

If the MC hadn't mentioned that the two rows of buffet food were different, we would have remained on one side thinking that the other side was also serving the same kind of food. One side was meat, the other side was seafood, pastries and desserts.

Here's wishing you two have a great adventurous life ahead as a married couple.

P.S. You should have asked me to proofread your wedding invitation postcards so that the spelling, grammatical mistakes could have been eliminated. i also saw the guest-list at the chalet entrance. My name was spelt wrongly as Micheal instead of Michael. Aiyah. Very common name very commonly misspelt. I also saw Mai Hong spelt wrongly as Man Hong. Nevermind lah. These are all small negligible details. What's important is you got all the major items done beautifully and properly.

Wedding Site Of Denny & Iris
View from the bungalow chalet.




Fruit punch.

Hit By Virus

My office computer has been sent for repair caused by a virus called autorun.exe

It has already been one week and my computer still has not been returned yet.

Can hardly do my work without all the files that i've stored inside. I did do backup of the files before but that was in May. All the files inside are outdated.

Then there's one crappy beyotch in my company who always asks things from me in a hostile manner like she wants to fight. Always frowning and scowling at me whenever she asks me for stuff.

One of these days, I'm going to blow up and take an iron rod and smash her bloody pig head! Bloody f#@king bitch!

Circus Track

After reading Singapore Life and Times' The Circus and The Clown which also got published on TODAY, i felt compelled to add some more oil to the fire; rub some more salt on the wound, so to speak.

Ferrari's president, Luca di Montezemolo,

has proven that he's not able to lose gracefully by calling Singapore's F1 Grand Prix track a circus track. Ferarri suffered a humiliated defeat at the Singapore's inaugural night race.

Both Ferarri drivers, Felipe Massa and Kimi Raikkonen failed to score a single point from the race.

Mr Montezemolo should remember that by characterising the Singapore F1 race and track a "circus", it makes his drivers look like incompetent monkeys and his Ferrari team a bunch of goondu gorillas who cannot refuel a car properly. I even saw one of the goondu gorillas with a cigarette in his mouth during a pit stop for crying out loud.

Since Mr Montezemolo thinks the Singapore street circuit is a circus track, he and his team should turn up for next year's race dressed up as clowns.

A Daily Simple Pleasure

One of the things I look forward to doing every weekday morning is to wash my car before I start work. It's one of those tasks which I consider a daily simple pleasure. As my office does not have any sheltered car park for non-management staff, my car is exposed to the elements, the sunlight, rainwater and dust all day long.

That's why each time it rains in the morning when I'm supposed to wash my car, it would spoil my day a bit.

This morning, as I was queing up to get a free copy of TODAY, an old man cut my queue. I tapped on his shoulder and told him off,

“Uncle, please queue up!”
“But I'm only taking one copy.”
“If you want to cut queue, cut behind me, don't cut in front of me!”
“Okay lah. Okay lah.”

Then he moved his ass behind me in the queue.

Someday when I become a senior citizen myself, I would never cut people's queue like that. If I want to get anything in a queue, I jolly well join the queue like everybody else. I have no right whatsoever to cut people's queue just because I'm an old man.

Queing up for something is a very basic social grace. But some Sinkies are just so sorely lacking in it. And I'm not even talking about workers from mainland China.